My mother is 80 and has dementia, and it’s unfortunately time to take away her makeup, which is (not surprisingly) one daily routine that she remembers to do on her own. But she can’t apply mascara, eyeliner, or use brow pencils well on her own, and I’m not with her daily to do it for her (and I rarely wear anything, so I barely know what I’m doing). The mascara especially is applied too thick, it’s just a drugstore brand, and she’s constantly picking at and rubbing her eyes.
She’s lost some eyelashes, and she plucked her eyebrows to very fine lines when she was young, so she also doesn’t have much to work with there either. I’m wondering if we could do something semi-permanent like lash or brow tinting to help her feel like she’s got some modicum of makeup on, but I’m not sure if it’s a safe procedure for a much older woman? I’m not even sure she could get through the procedure without someone (me) there to keep her comfortable and to help her understand what they are doing. She’s fine when getting her hair done, or getting massages, but the lash tinting looks a little scary to me, in terms of bandages and tape, etc.
Whenever I search for makeup advice for seniors, it’s for people who are still… fully functional. Any advice or resources? Is there a ultra-lightweight mascara that she could wear that won’t build up and clump in her eyes?
It’s very hard to navigate preserving her health vs preserving her sense of self and femininity. Thanks in advance.
I agree with you! I also work in the field of dementia and would like to add how important this routine could be for OP’s mom. If OP goes the semi permanent makeup route, she’s removing a vital routine from her mother’s life.
Routines provide comfort, stability, and even a reason to get up and keep living. When everything around you (and even your understanding of yourself) seems to be changing, our routines are what ground us. Heightened anxiety can arise from a lack of purpose or routine.
I have seen several ladies with dementia absolutely NEED to go through the motions of makeup applications. They either enjoy the routine and still take pride in how they present themselves, or are so used to it that it’s just an ingrained part of daily life.
Eyesight worsens in dementia, so even if you dyed her brows/lashes, 2 things could happen: 1) she could be terrified by what she sees in the mirror (which you pointed out in the above post) or 2) she could just not even understand/see that there’s permanent makeup applied and keep applying on top.
While OP’s question is clearly coming from a good place and is trying to help, Removing the ability to do her makeup routine could lead her to start using non-makeup to do the job—I’ve had a lady that used Sharpie on her eyes when the family didn’t think she needed it anymore.
Good luck, OP. I hope you, your mother, and family have the support you need. Dementia sure is one wild ride, but between all the devastation there still are some beautiful moments.