So I’ve managed to luck myself into marrying an amazing woman; way hotter than you’d think, smart, funny, willing to experiment, fun to travel with, etc. She loves watching football and has even adopted the Dolphins from the Steelers cause I have that much juice.

It’s the real deal, man.

BUT. She had a short term, but formative relationship with a dude who looks just like Mike McDaniel. Shit man, as a guy who watched Marino get blown out in of the Super Bowl in his second year in the league and the forty or so years of maybe next year that has followed, I love what MM is doing. But could he just stop being so cool for a game or two? Now this dude is on fucking hard knocks and gets to be authentic twice a week in my living room!

The good news is her shitbird ex husband who never did anything right looks like Robert Salah, but obliterating the jets 2X/year isn’t asserting enough dominance over her exes of the past when the guy doing looks just like an ex she remembers with fondness.

If MM wins a Super Bowl I’ll clearly be super stoked, but then he’ll sign a decade long extension! I’ve already got a kick ass sunglasses game and A tier fashion sense but it’s tough for me to outcool a guy who has a million dollars to throw at shit.

She knows my ex wife and my ex doesn’t look anything like a sideline reporter chick and they’re annoying and don’t get tons of airtime anyways. I’m not gonna ditch the dolphins after subjecting myself to Natrone Means being out of fucking bounds at the three, Cleo 🍋, Ricky marijuana-gate, and that time Fireman Ed nearly had a heart attack on MNF when the Jets came back from being down 86 in the fourth quarter.

What do?

FTJ