I have no love left for my people nor do they have any left for me.

I’m a Cambodian teenager living in Cambodia and no I’m not mixed race or from somewhere else, I hate it here every second. I hate everything here! Living here is like an hour in every second and every day feels like a year. The environment is polluted, nature is beautiful no longer, toxic culture, toxic society, and corrupted government…probably more! Every day feels like a prison…even Norway prison is better than where I am wow! Fabulous! Fantastic! Isn’t that so nice to know?? I would rather end up in a Norwegian jail than live here! Guess what? I would even prefer to choose to live in the US jail than be here! I’m not having it.

Do you know what I wished last time on my birthday? I wished for safety and freedom! Unlike other people, they would wish for toys and an X-box. And Christmas is coming up! “Santa! Santa! I want freedom” Could you imagine? I want to be like other kids.

I also just don’t belong here, I was raised to only speak English, and I didn’t follow any culture or traditional values here. Yes, you could say that I’m white-washed! I don’t even look the same as the local people even the local people think that I am a foreigner when I’m not! Seriously I look more like a Native American mixed with white. I also don’t go to local schools anymore and do online school with an AP curriculum and a US diploma! So once I graduate I can’t get a job here and I don’t want to get a job here EITHER!

Now I understand every country has its problems, so please don’t tell me the " Grass is not greener on the other side" narrative because I KNOW. But I would go somewhere that sucks less! Also, why not choose the one that fits you? I believe in country choice, to me the country choice is the right for each individual to choose their own desired country that matches their persona. A country is human-made and is made by different groups of people with the same agendas and mindsets. So I’m not like other Cambodians and I have different life values. And I don’t even like them! I wouldn’t marry one either god forbid! Not to mention the abuse that I got from my parents and traditions.

By the way, I would love to go to Canada or maybe the US because I’m more familiar with the culture there and I have friends there too! Most of my friends that I have are all THERE! The only time I got to talk to them was late at night…when I am awake they are asleep, So sad and miserable. I can’t have any friends here in Cambodia because last time I literally got attacked by groups of homophobic Cambodians & Russian teenagers! I think I need pets instead…OH WAIT ALL 4 OF THEM ARE DEAD BECAUSE THERE’S NO VET FOR BUNNIES IN CAMBODIA WOW! Ok, lemme find a place where I can have peace! Oh wait it’s not safe! Hmm? How about work your way out? Lemme do that! Wait I’m going to kill myself! “Go to therapist?” Therapy here are full of bias heads and religious WOW! LIFE IS SO GREAT HERE! I WISH CAMBODIA TO HAVE A GREAT SUCESS! WOW OH WOW!

BUT THAT WAS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG! ❄

HELP ME!