##The Boston Celtics preseason top 5:##

1. Peyton Pritchard found out there is no spoon

2. Kristaps Porzingis smiles. It was never his fault. He’s a nice man. Why were y’all lying?

3. in fact, Peyton Pritchard and Kristaps Porzingis might buy a decommissioned ferry boat together

4. Neemias Queta has giant hands, talks to himself, and knows how to play basketball! He is destined to not only make the team, but to be our next meme-lord.

5. Head coaches don’t matter. Assistant coaches and special advisors are where you go to find alpha.

What about you guys. What shit are y’all obsessing about in the weird nether regions of your subs after watching a bunch of benchwarmers and camp invite guys run around for a couple weeks