So, I don’t like my favorite team losing football games, and can’t make myself actively root for them to lose on Sundays. It’s just not in me.

But I also understand the premise that situations don’t often change except by necessity. Dennis Allen is statistically speaking one of the worst coaches in the league. Seriously, his winning percentage is only better than Matt Eberflus Jonathan Gannon among current coaches, and he’s ranked 185th all-time in winning percentage behind winners such as Josh McDaniels and Romeo Crennel and June Jones and Kliff Kingsbury. That’s right, this means that he has a worse winning percentage than the current division rival leaders Arthur Smith, Todd Bowles, and Frank Reich.

By any sane metric, he should be out of here at the end of the season. The problem is the schedule. There’s almost no chance this team loses enough games to not win the division. And that’s factoring in splits with Atlanta and Tampa, a sweep of Carolina, and a road loss to the Rams. Maybe the Giants find some semblance of life and give them a game, but I sure wouldn’t bet on that.

Four wins gets this team to 9-8 and almost assuredly wins the South, which would almost certainly get Allen et al another run. I’m sorry but another offseason looking at this God awful bullshit is not OK. I don’t know if I can do it, especially not sober.

Please, mamma Gayle. Please. New Orleans is not a boring average city. Its good is amazing and its bad is horrific. It doesn’t do mid very well, and it’s football team should reflect the identity of its city. You grew up here. You know this. Dennis Lauscha knows this too. You two hold the key. I don’t know if it’s a single key, or if you both have to turn into the same time to affect change, but whatever is required is what I humbly request.

Please lets go for the good times again, even if it means enduring some bad times getting there. This milquetoast motherfuckin’ if Applebees was a coaching staff situation has got to be rectified. Even if they fall bass ackwards into a division title. Please.