This is my opinion and I understand being concerned for your loved one or wanting clarity on a certain situation. But to flat out ask personal, disrespectful, and accusatory questions as soon as you sit down at Chili’s to meet for the first time, it’s wrong and unfair. It’s like some of these American families don’t think that the new fiancé is a person with feelings just like them. They’re already on edge because they’re meeting their fiancés family and they’re a country away from their own family, why interrogate them? It just sets a negative tone for the new relationship. And then the American fiancé just sits back and let’s it happen?
It happens. When I met my MIL for the first time she asked me if my family plays cards. Huh? She explained, that they bought their house from jews and they had played cards. Ok. She then remarked that I look like Barbra Streisand (I do not). Clearly, I was the first jewish person she’d ever met. When she met her future granddaughter in law she repeatedly asked her where she was from. I finally whispered to the poor girl; “she wants to know the origin of your brown skin.” Everyone in this story was american.