I realize that by posting this question I’m cementing the fact that I’m similar to him I’m always needing validation, the same way he asked Diane if he’s doomed. But I, in real life, am struggling with addiction, I just had a conversation with my family after about a year of struggling with severe depression. I tried to explain that I don’t want to be this way but I can’t help but always feel shitty. They said that it was me who was propelling this cycle, which is true, but the story is so long, my life has been going like this for sooo long that I can’t remember what’s what anymore. So when they asked “why exactly are you depressed” I just said “I don’t know” over and over again and I tried to explain that it’s more of a state I’ve always been in, rather than an emotion from an event. The whole argument sort of had a “It’s you” tone. I don’t know. I told them I want to go to therapy, but they told me point blank that if I go back to my old ways that they’re done with me. I’m not sure what to do, I feel like it’s over.
My family hates the idea of antidepressants, their fear is that at the end of the day, a junkie is a junkie is a junkie. Whether it’s alcohol, marijuana, or anti depressants, they don’t understand what depression is so they simply say that psychiatrists have an agenda and are trying to shove drugs down peoples throats, “how did your grandpa fight in this war, survive without getting depression or anti depressants.” I kind of see their point of view, because i also question the validity of all this stuff a lot. And, if they aren’t for me then I could get hooked and have problems with withdrawals. That being said, I took antidepressants before, but also while still using drugs, and they have helped, but I never took them for long enough to feel a difference, because my mom found out and told me she didn’t want me taking them and she was worried about me.