Regardless of whether or not you provide your own SSL certificates, cloudflare still uses their own between their servers and client browsers. So any SSL encrypted traffic is unencrypted at their end before being re-encrypted with your certificate. How can such an entity be trusted?
That’s not the only point of selfhosted. For me I see it like a mobile app, that’s centrally located. What I would store on my phone is now on my server, which is better if I lose my phone (theft, technical issues, w/e).
Apps just work better for me as progressive web apps and not natively installed applications, and it’s how I prefer it. Yes, you risk not being able to access it if the internet goes out and yes it basically requires a sys admin to properly secure it, but it’s not just about taking back ownership.
I use both, Google and Nextcloud. Both have a copy of everything. I trust Google with my data, always have. Whatever spying going on in the background that occurs has not affected me in 20 years, outside of it initially starting to show search results for gay or pregnant or whatever, which they resolved a long time ago.
On top of this, you live with the algorithms. You train them to do what you want and don’t let them have data you don’t want them to have. Like with incognito, although they’re currently being sued for still trying to track you, which is a lawsuit I’m on despite being a loyal customer.
Anyway, don’t share your devices without multiple user profiles. Android has a “guest” feature to share your phone. Fire stick and basically everything has multiple user profiles. Everyone gets their own algorithm trained. As far as the company and the insights, use paid accounts. My Gmail is paid running on my own domain.