TANK-A-THON FULL WEEK 12 BREAKDOWN (TL;DR at bottom)

Tank Commanders Mac Jones and Bailey Zappe before heading into war with the Giants

Good morning Pats fans! Last week was a great weekend for our odds at a top 3 pick. We had a Miraculous win by Tommy DeVito and the Giants pushing them to 3 wins and wins by the Rams and Packers pushing them to 4 wins each. The Cardinals and Bears also showed signs of life but could not secure wins. That said both are looking capable and can hopefully win a few more games before the season comes to a close. Week 12 has many games Pats fans should follow if they are interested in a top 3 pick. If you enjoy the content please consider upvoting! Without further ado lets break down the Week 12 slate!

Thursday November 23rd 12:30PM PACKERS @ LIONS

A Packers win here only helps the Pats

First off is the Packers @ the Lions. The Packers come in flying high after holding on to beat the Chargers, while the Lions almost choked to the Bears. The Lions are currently favorited by 7.5 but a Packers win here would all but eliminate them from a top 5 pick. With divisional games anything is possible so Patriots fans should root for a PACKERS win here on Thanksgiving Day.

Thursday November 23rd 4:30PM COMMANDERS @ COWBOYS

How the Commanders managed to lose against the Tommy DeVito led Giants we may never know. But on this Thanksgiving we are certainly thankful for it. On one hand a loss by the Commanders would slightly help our strength of schedule for tie breaker purposes. However this Commanders team only has two winnable games left on the year against the Rams and the Jets (possibly with Rogers) so they very well could lose out. Therefore I believe a COMMANDERS win here would be in our best interest at preserving a top 3 pick.

Thursday November 23rd 8:20PM 49ERS @ SEAHAWKS

The time is 8:20pm. Over the last 8 hours you have had 7 cinnabon rolls, 8 pounds of mashed potatos, a gallon of peas and 3 helpings of turkey. At this point you will be asleep in the recliner, which is perfect because this game truly has no bearing on the Patriots draft position. May you have sweet dreams of Pop Douglas hauling in 3 Bailey Zappe touchdowns only for us to narrowly lose to Tommy Devito.

Friday November 24th 3:00PM DOLPHINS @ JETS

See ya later bozo

You may be asking yourself some questions at this point.

1. Why is there a game at 3:00PM on a Friday?
2. Why can’t both of these two teams lose?

To that I will say 1) nobody knows and 2) we live in a cruel world. The Dolphins are the clear leaders in the AFC East since the Bills have fallen off and Zach Wilson may actually be the one starting QB worse than Mac Jones. Tank-wise though it would likely be beneficial for the Jets to beat the Dolphins here and give incentive for Rogers to come back sooner and try and get them a playoff spot. While it is blasphemous to ask Patriots fans to root for the Jets to win lets put it this way. One of these teams will lose on Friday. JETS over Dolphins.

Sunday November 26th 1:00PM BUCCANEERS @ COLTS

Lets hope for more of this come Sunday

First up this weekend we have the Bucs @ the Colts. Colts are sitting at 5-5 and Bucs are 4-6. This is an easy one. We want the Colts to lose to help our strength of schedule go down which helps with tiebreakers. A Bucs win also gets them to 5 wins and kicks them out of contention for a top 5 pick. BUCS should win this game over colts.

GAME OF THE WEEK - Sunday November 26th 1:00PM PATS @ GIANTS!

Patriots fan’s 2023 season personified

If there was a tanking Superbowl this would likely be it. A patriots loss here would completely ruin the Giants chance of a top 3 pick while giving us a legit shot at the number #2 pick in the draft. Of which we’d own the tiebreaker with the Cardinals over (S.O.S). The Panthers are hopeless at this point but who knows. Tommy Devito is coming off a 250 yard 3 TD/0int performance against the commanders. Just the fact that he isn’t a complete zero and can actually compete is huge for our chances at a loss here.

We seem to be trending towards starting Zappe this week. While Jones has been awful Bailey has already been cut twice this year and is legitimately worse in my opinion. The Giants losing to the Commanders last week helps our top 3 odds a bit but they still have the Strength of schedule tiebreaker against us if they were to win. Pats fans should hope our teams balls out but the Giants win a close one this weekend.

Sunday November 26th 1:00PM STEELERS @ BENGALS

This is another simple one. We face the Steelers this year so a loss today helps us better our strength of schedule % which helps with tiebreakers in the draft. I would pick the Steelers to beat us at Heinz field in December regardless, but if they were more desperate for a win it would be even better. Pats fans should root for a BENGALS win over the Steelers.

Sunday November 26th 1:00PM TITANS @ PANTHERS

Bryce Young moments before throwing 106 yards and 2 picks.

This would be the game of the week if we were not facing the Giants. Will Levis has crashed back to earth the last 3 weeks after his 4TD game in his first start. The Titans are also 0-3 in that time and are sitting at 3-7. They are a sneaky team to watch move up the board and get a top 3-5 pick in the draft.

There’s two schools of thought here. If you are rooting for us to get a ‘top 3 pick’ then it would be best for the Titans to win. We do have the tiebreaker with them for seeding but it’s so close that it could easily change. However if you wanted to shoot for the moon and see if we could get the #1 pick in the draft you could root for the Panthers to win and get them tied with us in the win column. Ultimately I would rather play it safe and see the TITANS win. Any of Maye/Williams/MHjr would be fine by me and less competition at the bottom of the standings would probably be best.

Sunday November 26th 1:00PM JAGUARS @ TEXANS

I got nothing on this one. This game has no baring on our draft positioning. Stroud winning and continuing to be mentioned in the MVP shortlist will be funny to me so perhaps I’ll root for the Texans. Poor Panthers fans. Who should win? Whoever you want!

Sunday November 26th 1:00PM SAINTS @ FALCONS

Another easy one. As the Patriots played the Saints this year, a Saints loss helps lessen our strength of schedule and improves our tiebreaker chances at a top 3 pick. Falcons never seem to be able to put it together though and are apparently going back to Ridder so it will be tough. Nevertheless Patriots fans should root for a FALCONS win.

Sunday November 26th 4:05PM RAMS @ CARDINALS

\“We’re on to Modern Warfare 3\” - Kyler Murray 2023

The afternoon slate starts off with a bang with the Rams at the Cardinals. The Cardinals are in prime position here to pick up a win at home in what should be a shootout. Murray has looked good in his 2 games back and he should be able to score against the weak Rams Defense.

Something to keep in mind is the Patriots really are only behind the Cardinals because we’ve played one less game. We have the edge in strength of schedule, which makes the result of this game and our game that much more important. Therefore, Patriots fans should root hard for CARDINALS to take down the Rams this weekend.

Sunday November 26th 4:05PM BROWNS @ BRONCOS

The Broncos have somehow turned their season around after their dreadful start. While the Browns D is elite, Dorian Thompson-Robinson leaves much to be desired at QB. With the Pats playing the Broncos next month, Patriots fans should root for the BROWNS to win this week for strength of schedule purposes.

Sunday November 26th 4:25 PM BILLS @ EAGLES

Fly Eagles fly!

Here is a fun one. The Eagles are looking like a championship caliber team and are up against the Bills who have looked like…garbage the last month. Just think, they lost to…us. The Bills at 6-5 now head to Philly for the start of a brutal 3 game stretch against the Eagles, Chiefs, then Cowboys.

It would be a real shame if they lost all three, dropped out of the playoffs, and helped us get a better strength of schedule percentage. Just kidding that would be awesome. Patriots fans should have no problem rooting for the EAGLES to win and destroy the hopes and dreams of fans in Buffalo.

Sunday November 26th 4:25PM CHIEFS @ RAIDERS

The Chiefs are basically on cruise control this year slowly rolling through an easy schedule against an atrocious division. There is no strength of schedule play here since we verse both teams and the Raiders are already at 5 wins somehow so they really aren’t competition for a top pick. Thus you can really root for whoever you want here.

Sunday November 26th 8:20PM RAVENS @ CHARGERS

Oh the Chargers. Every year they underperform with a decent, on paper, roster. Staley has defied all odds and managed to remain the head coach so far this year after a horrible start. Will they move on from him if they get blown out by the ravens here and fall to 4-7? Perhaps. It is certainly what I’m rooting for.

Time and time again we see teams ball out for the new interim head coach in his first week on the job. With the Patriots playing the Chargers next weekend I certainly am rooting for that. Thus, give me a RAVENS blowout over the Chargers this week.

Monday November 27th 8:15PM BEARS @ VIKINGS

Justin Fields we believe in you!

And finally we have end this week’s slate with a game that has huge outcomes for the patriots draft position. The Bears, fresh off choking hard against the Lions, face a Vikings team that has been riding Dobbs after a losing Kirk for the year. A Bears win here would get them to 4 wins and give us some breathing room in the chase for a top pick. Do I have faith in them to not blow a huge lead even if they get one? No. Am I praying for it? Yes. Patriots fans should root for a big BEARS win this Monday.

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TL;DR Who should I want to win?

PACKERS over Lions
COMMANDERS over Cowboys
JETS over Dolphins
BUCS over Colts
GIANTS over Patriots
BENGALS over Steelers
TITANS over Panthers
FALCONS over Saints
CARDINALS over Rams
BROWNS over Broncos
EAGLES over Bills
RAVENS over Chargers
BEARS over Vikings