I am American and my partner is from Mexico, we started off long distance but now she has been with me in the states for a bit with her work visa. I am quite frankly tired of living in the US, there are a lot of things I love about my country, like the national parks, and the safety and security of the community I currently live in but I’m just so tired of “grinding” for it. I want to live in a place where work life isn’t so prioritized, and you can get the basic necessities with a basic job.
Back in June, I spent an entire month in my girlfriends hometown in Mexico, which is just outside of Mexico City, I quickly fell in love with the culture, the food, and being able to walk everywhere. If we were hungry, we would walk to a bunch of different food stands to buy fresh ingredients and would have a delicious meal, it is small things like that I am missing here in the states. It just doesn’t feel possible in the US to have all those things I fell in love with in Mexico…
I have been with my partner for two years now, and I’ve went to visit her in Mexico 3 different times before she eventually came here to work and live with me. We have already decided that we want to make a more permanent situation together, our relationship is really important to us. We discussed where we want to end up living together, and i told her that I feel like I want to go live in Mexico with her. She basically told me “You need to realize that even though you have spent some time there with me, it was a vacation, you don’t really know what it is like to live in Mexico”. Basically telling me that I got a skewed view of the country while I was visiting because I didn’t need to work there or do everyday normal things. I honestly disagree, I feel like my month there was more than enough time to get a scope of things, and I like what I saw…. But now she has me wondering if I really don’t know what it’s really like… She tells me that where we were was “dangerous usually” but I never sensed any fear or danger
Being on vacation somewhere is different than living somewhere.
Its even more different if you have to live there like the locals on a local salary.
You also had a local helping you out and was probably able to direct you away from shady food vendors, could help you out if you ever had a situation with the police, presumably she speaks fluent Spanish, etc…
Anyway it sounds like you two have very fundamental issues to face, and these issues are probably larger than “where do we live?”
If we were hungry, we would walk to a bunch of different food stands to buy fresh ingredients and would have a delicious meal,
There’s many parts of the world where this is possible, including a good chunk of the US
- Security
- Corruption
- Inneficiencies
- Social inequalities.
I grew up in Mexico. Left 25 years ago due to those reasons above.
When I go on vacations I have a blast. I love it but I wouldn’t move back.
I find that most Mexicans are some of the nicest people but a few are some of the worst.
If you have money and power in Mexico, life is sweet, but you need to always look over your shoulder. If you don’t have money, life is hard.
Travelingnwith a US salary in Mexico everything seems cheap. Living with a Mexican salary in Mexico is ridiculously expensive.
Of course, Mexico is a large and varied country. There are safe and less expensive cities but jobs there pay way less.
On the other hand, I realize that, while security is an issue, the constant bombardment of news increases the security anxiety when you live there. This is: security ain’t as good as a vacation may feel but it isn’t as bad as the people there feel it is.
Context: in a single year I was assaulted at gun point in the street. My office was robbed at gun point for the payroll. I got kidnapped (just 4 hours). And my car was stolen from my parking lot. I had an accident (Just my car) on the highway and the MP (district attorney) threatened jail. I had to give a bribe or go to a jail in a town In the middle of nowhere. It took a out 10 years or more to regularize the deed on a house my dad had been building.
My sister’s ex is an attorney and business person with political connections I swear that he said with a straight face and thinking he was right when he had a public position “if I help someone get their business faster (jump the line) it is ok if they help be back”. He is a good guy in general but he couldn’t comprehend why that was wrong. Of course he is quite wealthy.