I was wondering what are people’s experiences of having and raising children in a different country from your own, specially if your partner is a local. Did you find it challenging not having your family to support you? Did you manage to have them be bilingual? Do you find it’s hard for them to identify with your country, and if so, what are good ways to help with this?
I can’t answer this but it’s fairly likley I won’t have them due to cost of living and housing.
I am German/American, my mother is from the US. From what she has told me, it was pretty challenging. For one, my dad’s family never liked her, and her own was too far away. So she was on her own a lot. She handled the language aspect pretty well. I grew up speaking English with her, German with my paternal grandmother, who lived in the same house. I spoke a jumbled mess of german-english for a while, but it got better quickly and the second language was always an advantage. My mom made sure to teach me to read and write in English, and also some american history. She had me reading “To kill a Mockingbird” by the time I was 12🤣. She had my grandma send school books, magazines etc. for me to read and study with. She recorded American family TV shows, which were aired in German TV at weird times, for us to watch. We celebrated American holidays like Christmas Presents on the 25th (additionally to the 24th, which is the German custom) and Thanksgiving, and she made American food for us, like pumpkin pie, turkey,… and also had relatives send other American treats like Candy Cane’s, Hershey Kisses, Peanut Butter cups… We spoke English around the house, and watched movies in English (if we had the video cassettes in that language). She made sure we send cards to relatives and talk to them on the phone a lot. That was all in the early 2000s, nowadays you have many more ways to bring your culture to your children than back then, of course (FaceTime, Netflix offers many languages, you can buy books in your language on Amazon…).
All in all I can say, that I do know my heritage, and the USA doesn’t feel completely foreign to me, but it will never be my home. Mostly because I didn’t grow up there, but also for socio-economical reasons (I like the place, I like the people, I don’t like… everything else).
But from my mom’s side and her efforts to make us feel like Americans, she did a good job. If the country were in a better state, I totally feel like I could live there without feeling like a foreigner.
*Also we visited the US every couple of years (as often as our finances allowed it)