I realise this is the kind of question that will elicit completely different answers depending on each person personal situation, but anyway, I am curious to hear about other people’s stories.

I have been living in the UK for nearly eight years and I can’t say I have one really close friend who is British, and this is despite being very well integrated here (my partner is English).

I’ve heard endless experiences from other expats that are similar to mine, where most if not all their closest friends are other expats. This could be just a London thing, simply because of the amount of foreigners here. Also I am in my mid fourties, so establishing meaningful relationships is simply harder (no offense, but I am not that interested about hearing how you, a 20 something, has plenty of British friends).

I am not asking how to make friends, thank you, I can figure out that joining a club or volunteering or whatever is a great way. I am mostly curious to hear from others if this is a common experience.

  • ksarlathotepBEnglish
    1·
    10 months ago

    I’ve had this same experience in the Netherlands when I lived there, and I’m now having it in Japan. I don’t think this is unique to the UK. I think to an extent it’s just a part of the expat experience. Of course living in a big city makes it worse, whether London or Tokyo - people live far apart, commutes are long, even if you do meet someone you hit it off with at work or at a bar or online, chances are they live 2 hours away from you. And then part of it is just getting older. I’m in my late 30s, and I realize that a lot of people my age aren’t actively looking for friends anymore - they have families, and the friend group they’ve always had, they’re not out looking to socialize and meet new people. So as an expat over 35 in a huge city, everything is kind of stacked against you. Which is to say yeah, I’m having the same experience… I think it’s pretty common. Probably also part of the reason why expats tend to form these expat communities.