To give a bit of back story I used to be hardcore into competitive PvP games. Predominantly Overwatch and League of Legends. I also dabbled in CS:GO.
Like I used to play these games pretty much all day on my days off from work and it got to the point where I was so dedicated to them that I would essentially play nothing else. This meant I missed out on a lot of games that I would ordinarily love.
It got to the point where all I cared about was my rank. And I put an unhealthy amount of value into what is in actuality a virtual, meaningless rank that has no bearing on anything outside of the game.
It got to the point where PvP games started to really negatively impact my mental health. Family and friends would notice that I was in more of a bad mood than usual and I just was not myself. My girlfriend would beg me to come off the game but I was addicted to them.
Eventually, I decided to do something about it and I immediately uninstalled the above mentioned games and instead started playing more single player games.
This year alone experiencing Baldurs Gate 3, Tears of the Kingdom, Super Mario Wonder and even Starfield (despite its flaw) was such a breath of fresh air and my mood has been lifted massively. I can’t believe I was missing out on all of these games! And it has been a stark reminder than gaming should never feel like a job or stress you out and it DEFINITELY should not affect you once you turn it off.
Don’t really know why I’m sharing this but I hope it can maybe reach out to someone out there who is going through what I went through. And guys, there’s more to life than a stupid rank in your game.
There is also a way in between. To change your attitude and mindset when it comes to these games. Play CS because it’s fun and social with friends. Not to get the highest rank. I play both competitive and single player games. I can totally relate to your post but once I switched my mindset, it’s all good. Took some time though but it’s important for me to play the games I do love together with my friends.