The strugglewich. You try to get as many calories into one sandwich as you can because you know its going to be a hot minute before you get to eat again and you don’t wanna get hunger pangs.
i feel this on a spiritual level
The trick is having something to help wash it down. I usually do the same, except without the jelly… or the bread for that matter. Give me a jar of Pb and a spoon and I’m happy.
I’ll sing you a poem of a silly young king Who played with the world at the end of a string, But he only loved one single thing— And that was just a peanut-butter sandwich.
His scepter and his royal gowns, His regal throne and golden crowns Were brown and sticky from the mounds And drippings from each peanut-butter sandwich.
His subjects all were silly fools For he had passed a royal rule That all that they could learn in school Was how to make a peanut-butter sandwich.
He would not eat his sovereign steak, He scorned his soup and kingly cake, And told his courtly cook to bake An extra-sticky peanut-butter sandwich.
And then one day he took a bit And started chewing with delight, But found his mouth was stuck quite tight From that last bite of peanut-butter sandwich.
His brother pulled, his sister pried, The wizard pushed, his mother cried, “My boy’s committed suicide From eating his last peanut-butter sandwich!”
The dentist came, and the royal doc. The royal plumber banged and knocked, But still those jaws stayed tightly locked. Oh darn that sticky peanut-butter sandwich!
The carpenter, he tried with pliers, The telephone man tried with wires, The firemen, they tried with fire, But couldn’t melt that peanut-butter sandwich.
With ropes and pulleys, drills and coil, With steam and lubricating oil— For twenty years of tears and toil— They fought that awful peanut-butter sandwich.
Then all his royal subjects came. They hooked his jaws with grapplin’ chains And pulled both ways with might and main Against that stubborn peanut-butter sandwich.
Each man and woman, girl and boy Put down their ploughs and pots and toys And pulled until kerack! Oh, joy— They broke right through that peanut-butter sandwich
A puff of dust, a screech, a squeak— The king’s jaw opened with a creak. And then in voice so faint and weak— The first words that they heard him speak Were, “How about a peanut butter sandwich?”
– Peanut Butter Sandwich by Shel Silverstein
This is exactly how it’s done.
I honestly prefer a heavy peanut butter to jelly ratio on my pb & j, as well.
Priority order of beverages for peanut butter consumption:
- Milk
- Coffee
- Carbonated beverage of choice
- sweet iced tea (unsweetened becomes a horrible flavor, and doesn’t cut through the fats as well.
- Hot teas.
- After that point, you’re playing with your life if you try to use other drinks.
Not one mention of water.
It should really be number 3. Carbonated beverages have no place on this list.
Can’t wait for the pee, nut, butter and jelly sandwich
How you eat that with anything less than a quart of milk is beyond me.
Thats gonna be a tough poo
