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The grass is always greener elsewhere. “not bad” is actually good imo.

Personally, I moved to JPN from the US because of a job opportunity over 20 years ago.
But if given the opportunity to move back, I don’t think I would move back. the US has turned into something I don’t recognize as well as I thought I did.

I do feel like the perpetual foreigner, but alas.
I’ve been to Europe on business and enjoy every trip, but that’s because I’m not really living the local life, in a hotel, taking taxis, dining out every night…

I’d probably fire up some Tony Robbins videos and just really start having some serious chats with myself. Maybe I would move to another country but first I would try to get my thoughts lined up. I definitely have problems sometimes, but I’m able to recover if I really work on myself.

Get German citizenship if you can. Even if you have to suck up a couple more years. With German citizenship many possibilities are open.