You don’t get to control the speech of everyone around you just because you personally have a problem with something. You can ask politely, but your control over other people starts and ends there.

Hey there stranger.

I can 100% understand where you’re coming from. It’s okay if you don’t feel comfortable with this kind of humor.

I’m not going to touch on what topics or humor are appropriate in what places, that’s a big conversation with very few black and white answers. Please just keep in mind that some of us use dark humor as a way of coping, of reducing the emotional strain by making light of our trauma in a safe way, or by using humor to generate empathy in others who might not have experienced the same trauma. Humor doesn’t have to tear things down, it can bring people together. I also don’t want to touch on the “rapist shit” comment, so… I won’t.

To anyone else reading, please try to be a bit more understanding when people politely ask you to chill. It’s usually not their business, especially in public, but please don’t immediately get defensive. I have the right to walk down the street screaming at people, as an extreme example, but no one would defend me if I was doing that and someone else asked me to stop. Most people are automatically aware of unwritten social norms and stuff, this is just part of that compromise we work with every day. Sometimes, you should ignore the person asking you to tone it down. Sometimes, you should tone it down.

I usually don’t subscribe to the “everyone is right” BS, but I think it’s true here. There’s no bad person in this, just a difference of how people process things.