That’s not what those words mean at all. You’re jumping through hoops (and failing) just to avoid not being right, stop it, it’s not becoming.

A example you and others may be able to grasp.

Let’s say I focus on my work instead of spending time with my wife/gf/whatever. Despite the fact that I don’t want that relationship to fail and I am not actively sabotaging it, I can’t really be surprised when said wife/gf/whatever leaves me because I wasn’t actively nurturing the relationship.