I’ve played dota for 20 years +- (still only a 3.5k scrub) I still enjoy the game but I know it’s having a negative impact on me overall. I am happily married, my wife doesn’t mind my gaming, but I know we’d probably have a stronger relationship and I’d do more things in life if I toned it down. I’m wondering for people that have stopped playing dota aggressively (over 15+ hours a week) and either quit straight up or toned it back to maybe 5 hours a week or so. Any advice on mentality or thoughts on it. We all know dota is addictive, and I find myself sometimes not giving a shit, and tanking MMR, then deciding to care and getting it all back. I have a hard time stepping fully back and not wanting to play in my downtime (unless real life gets in the way). Any insight on what you did that brought dota away from being a major time sink in your life would be appreciated. I don’t wanna fully stop, as my best friend and I use it as a way to connect since we live in seperate locations, but I probably only play 4-6 games with him week, I just want to find a way to not have it envelop my life so much. Sorry for the rant, appreciate all the advice in advance!
I stopped playing because I had no friends to play with. I always played solo with some other 4 strange players in the team. Id say I grew tired of toxicity when playing. Besides I was more of Custom Games (Maps from W3) rather than a Dota player. Also I played other games than just Dota and watch movies, tv shows too.I havent played Dota in like 8 years way before 7.00. But I watch Dota on Youtube.How to Stop playing Dota? Find other game you like, change your habits. I for example like Factorio a lot.Make yourself some limit. JUST 1 game, or start with 3 or 5 depending how much you play. If you are on your final game do NOT play another one. Play other games. There are LOTS of other games to play. Try a new genre. Also if you only play AAA try indie games.
You are not enjoying dota, not for most of the time. Recognize and acknowledge that, then when you find yourself using dota as an excuse to get out of something you don’t wanna face in real life, or as an easy way to get that dopamine release without actual hard work, stop. Take control of your life.
When you have that control you have earned the right the play a game or two.
Think of it as a game, fun. If in 20 years you are 3.5k mmr, what’s the point of the mmr for you? It’s useless and brings you nothing in return. When you start playing for fun, you will notice that the fun goes away slowly and you will eventually play like 2-3 games a week with some 2 3 friends for fun, grab a beer, chat on discord and shit, and that would become the only reason you actually play dota, for the friends connection mostly, like any other activity.
When a number called mmr becomes your reason to play dota, it will never end, and you will grind more and more daily to get to that… i don’t exactly know to what, you should know that. The winning/losing % is aroun 50%, think, if you have a winning % of 51 or 50.6, it will take you 10 years of daily dota to get to 4500 mmr. In this case, you either start studying and play to improve, throw money into coaching and stuff, or quit playing ranked and play for fun.
The principle is easier than you expect, but you have to understand it in your own way and accept it: “If you aren’t making money out of it or you are not having fun, quit.” Obviously you are most likely not making money, nor having fun apparently, so choose one, or none at all. The money part needs investing, into rigs and knowledge; the fun part just needs your brain to process some information and force yourself to stop when the fun is over.
Use your best friend as leverage, plan in advance, play when you BOTH can do it, without interfering with your daily life such as wife, kids, chores, job etc. Involve the wife also, like “yo best friend, wanna play some dota on tuesday at 18:00 for 2-3-10 hours? cool… yo wife i will play some dota on tuesday at 18 for a few hours is that ok with you?” and see where that convo goes. Come on, you’re an adult ffs, stop playing stupid games for no reason