Four score and seven seasons ago our fathers Micky and Pat brought forth in this league, a new team, conceived in CULTURE™ , and dedicated to the proposition that all championships are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great grind, testing whether that team, or any team so conceived and so dedicated, can long win rings. We are met on a great court of that grind. We have come to dedicate a portion of that court, as a final resting place for those dawgs who here gave their careers that that team might win rings. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

-Haywood “Abraham Lincoln-ass beard” Highsmith

Get some corn rows.