Fizz - I love me some no counterplay assassination

Alistar - Cuz not taking damage while being 0-7 is skill gap

Blitz - I missed 99 hooks but landed one on the 13-1 ADC that was dodging our 6-7 Fizz and now we won the game

Briar - 2023 balanced champ

Cho gath - I have 9k health in this meta :3 and I’m tanky :3 and heartsteel proc goes vrrrrrrrrrrrr

Dr Mundo - I’m either broken or garbage

Draven - wow you’re 3-0? would be nice if I still do double your damage as a 0-3 Draven hahaha tyler1 goes brrrrrrrrrrrr much fun

Ekko - I mispositioned but every skill in my kit allows me to misposition 5 more times and not die

Fiddlesticks - I can 1 combo you while you’re being cc’d the whole time while I only have sorc boots while I’m support and not even a laner while I’m 0-2

Gangplank - :333333333 I abuse free gold runes and it ems and somehow I’m a “late game champ” that wins lane, oh you’re bad nobody will believe you

Hecarim - I’m not allowed to be bad for one month, I get straight buffed. Sec let me run into your lane while ccing you with nothing you can do about it, sec every jungler knows how to play me lmao oh you picked an immobile champ? You’re camped gg

Jax - I’m so fair I counter 80% of top laners

K’sante - Riot will never let me be bad :3 I’m just better than you, damage? Check, tanky? Check, Mobility? Check, CC? Check, Utility? Check, I got it all cuz it’s just a 2023 diff. Nice skills bro would be a shame if I got through ban phase

Kassadin - I used to be bad early :3 but now I die once and scale :3. Would be a shame if I just hit lvl 11 instead of 16 now and carried :3

Soraka - All my weakness has been removed due to 2023 itemization and runes :3 ! When I’m good, it’s auto win. Better focus me! Oh wait you cant because my adc will kill you after you attempted to poke me down but it never worked. Item and rune diff :3 !

Kayn - Wow I’m so good I go through walls, totally no mobility gap here. Sec let me go in your body as I one shot you and then leave with 9000% move ment speed. haha I’m so good! One of my forms is always broken at the very least.

Leona - I’m 0-9 but will 1v1 your Lucian

Leblanc - Everyone hates me but I’m still not reworked

Lulu - The player operating me usually sucks but it doesnt matter because half my shit is point and click or impossible to miss. Also tried to assissinate me? Nah lmao polymorph

Master yi - Riot loves buffing me so now with just a BORK I can 1v1 most 2-3 item people

Nocturne - Skill expression man, I just pressed R on a laner who didnt ward 500 miles away

Ornn - Original “I’m a tank with assassin damage”

Renekton - Original “I have no bad match ups but r/RenektonMains still bitch about other champs”

Seraphine - See Blitzcrank- Not allowed to be bad champ

Sylas - I’ma steal your R and use it better than your champ balanced around your R can, also mobility creep was excelled by me, fuck demacia ig

Soraka - All my weakness has been removed due to 2023 itemization and runes :3 ! When I’m good, it’s auto win. Better focus me! Oh wait you cant because my adc will kill you after you attempted to poke me down but it never worked. Item and rune diff :3 !

Tahm kench - I’m not balanced top or support or jungle. In fact I’m broken any lane I go. But riot is still going to try and balance me so you lose LP when I’m playable. lMAO I love being tanky and doing lots of damage :3 also you picked immobile champ? Sec I’ma come from under you

Tryndamere - Lmao riot loves me man! I’m named after a dude here. Idk I think he’s the Ceo or ex ceo or something. But yea right click all day. Oh I’m 0-8? It’s alright! Split push and still 1v2.

Warwick - Riot says I’m for new players but I’m secretly a smurf champ

Zilean - Riot thinks I’m balanced but secretly the most broken shit ever, sec Ima bring you back to life

Yone - Mobility creep crit boy, riot was sick of them banning yasuo so now you have to ban both of us LMAO