• Have a spare Deck for the bathroom to use during those difficult poos
• To use as an exotic murder weapon
• As an awkward, but fancy, paper weight
• You can use it as a terrible mirror for makeup
• For use on Reddit for all those “You can really take it anywhere” posts
• You can sell it for drugs in a pinch
• Lend it to a very small child to benchpress with
• To consume for food during the impending famine
• As an inneficient heater during those cold nights
• Use it with the Torr browser to buy weapons and slaves

It’s still a great purchase, you just have to be creative.