I really like playing dota, like a lot. I play for about 6 hours almost everyday. Despite this I’ve somehow managed to get myself a girlfriend. She’s great I enjoy spending time with her enough but honestly a lot of the time when I’m with her I just wish I was gaming.

Things have gotten so bad recently that I’ve been cutting or intimate time short. It started out not too bad, we typically have sex 4 to 5 times a week and I’d only cut it short once or twice, but in the past couple months I’ve really just not been enjoying it. I’ve always had a weird relationship with sex with anyone I’ve dated. A lot of the time I can just take it or leave it unless I’m really in the mood (which isn’t often) so I’m just going through the motions. It just feels like a waste of time.

Anyways, I think she’s caught on that I’m not actually ejaculating when I’m with her like I pretend I am, she really likes sex to an almost insane degree and says 4 to 5 times a week isn’t enough for her at all. Last time we were having sexy times i just couldn’t do it anymore so I let out a loud moan like I just came buckets and rolled over. The problem is we don’t use condoms ever so it’s not a super good excuse. I went back into my bedroom up and fired up a game almost instantly. She comes in and trys asking me about the game (I’m playing marci) says she likes her hair. I understand she’s trying to be nice but it’s distracting so I kinda glare at her and ask her to leave.

I find her crying in the living room after the game and she’s saying some womanly nonsense, that like she doesn’t think I think she’s pretty, that she likes me and doesn’t want to date someone that cares more about a video game than her. I was pretty pissed off because we lost due to our offlane sand king ruining the game and a mid smurf on the other team and I kinda went off on her. She’s homeless atm and doesn’t have anywhere to go so I feel bad for her, but honestly i think I care more about dota than our relationship or her at all. I want to quit but I always find myself going back, logging in and it just creates a terrible cycle of pain in my life and in my relationships. Has anyone had similar issues? I just don’t think I can live on like this but I don’t want to kick her on the streets, I do have some love for her but I don’t know where it’s placed