I don’t know why I’m sharing this. I am just a piece of shit and sorry for contaminating a good (I hope?) ST thread with my own BS

He also raised me on Star Trek, if that helps bring it back to why I’m here.

Just as an aside, my dad died horribly this past xmas after 6 months of cancer gradually destroying him and everything he’d worked so hard for. He was one of the most fit people I knew until that. He grew up skiing and was a junior patroller at 15 in colorado. By the time I was born, he was patrolling as a doctor and took me everywhere he could, and when he couldn’t, he just told me to go to the patrol shack and wait. Anyways, I was with him for those last 6 months, but I curled up in a ball and did nothing to try to make his doctors do anything or find alternative treatment options like the Mayo clinic. I just curled up in a ball of fear and anxiety and did nothing. I was just paralyzed. My dad would have gone to the ends of the earth for me, and I didn’t even try to save him. I don’t know how to live with that.