That’s very un-dude, dude.

Uncle Milton and his cat 5 anaconda …

Many people do not grasp the sheer size of the disparity between the truly wealthy and everyone else.

Endeavour is really good

Not at the same time, but in alternation, sure. It’s all reactions to underlying shame and inadequacy beliefs/feelings which are there all the time I expect.

This tracks with my assessment of the two likely personalities of software engineers, either narcissistic or anxious with imposter syndrome.

There are so many things that one might want in a partner which are not changeable, that something like this, where it can be taught, shouldn’t be high on the list of reasons to reject. If you discuss the issue with someone you’re dating and they 💩💩 it, then you might want to reject, but not because of the knowledge they lack but rather because of their insensitivity to your anxiety.

Well, some of us are also clueless when it comes to reading female interest, or were at an earlier point in life

The years passed, mankind became stupider at a frightening rate. Some had high hopes the genetic engineering would correct this trend in evolution, but sadly the greatest minds and resources where focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections.

Jokes on you Anon! If everyone is a vampire then who’s blood do you suck?

Cue Theramin

Inquiring minds want to know

You’re a perfectly normal man who has developed a social anxiety disorder. I might say that the cause was that you were traumatized, but if so I’d qualify it by saying it was a “small t” rather than a big one. All trauma has a similar structure to it but it is useful to differentiate between ordinary and extraordinary events that cause it to happen. Anyway, totally and boringly normal. You are not a loser, just a guy whose anxiety and shame have been turned up to 11 and subsequently has become avoidant of relationships.

Anxiety is perpetuated by avoidance. The more you avoid, the more mysterious and apparently dangerous that which you avoid will appear. The way out of it is to confront your fear by (in this case) asking women you find a bit interesting out for a date. When you do this your anxiety is going to ramp up fiercely. That’s your anxious part trying to “keep you safe” just like when a dog barks at the mailman. The “mailman” (eg., women) aren’t really dangerous but your “dog” thinks they are and so will growl and put you in the mindset to run away. When this happens, tell your anxious part that he is a good boi and a good “watchdog”, but also tell him that he isn’t in possession of the facts (and how could he be? He’s just a “dog”!). Tell him you’ve got this and then follow through with the dating. It will get easier with practice.

You’ve got this OP. You aren’t weird (just anxious and ashamed like half the population of the world). You just need to push through your anxiety by doing the thing you are afraid to do.