• 1 Post
  • 18 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
Cake day: August 15th, 2023
  • focusforte@lemmy.worldtoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml•People who can don't get mad and just go with the flow, how do you do it?
    2·
    11 months ago

    Going with the flow is such an important skill that more parents need to put more of a focus in teaching. It’s all about making sure that your response is a realistic way of attaining your goal in the situation.

    If I’m talking to someone else and trying to help them through a situation like they say, ask them to think for a minute if getting angry will do anything at all to help the situation they find themselves in.

    “You are absolutely right to be upset about this situation, and if you need to take a minute to feel that rage, go right ahead. Once you’re ready though, let’s take a deep breath, remember that we can’t change what’s already happened and instead be strategic and intentional about what we do from here to correct for what just happened”

    Being able to gain control of yourself is a skill that requires practice. Intrusive thoughts and feelings and emotions happen to everyone, the trick is just recognizing when it’s happening. When you recognize that it’s happening, take a deep breath and shake it off. For me that means just slowing down and being much more methodical and intentional about anything that I say or do until that fight or flight mode response disengages. Be conscious of the fact that my reflexes cannot be trusted when I am in fight or flight mode.

  • focusforte@lemmy.worldtoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml•People Who Don't Wear Deodorant or Seemingly Bathe Regularly, Why?
    24·
    11 months ago

    The few people I know with this issue fall into one of two categories.

    1. Access issues. There are some kinds of road blocks accessing a quality shower/bath. Which makes showering/bathing is an uncomfortable activity for some reason. Maybe it’s that their shower is really small and cramped, with a low quality shower head. Maybe it’s an issue where the water quality is low in the shower they have access to. Low quality water can have an odor people find uncomfortable, or it can dry out their skin making their skin feel dry even while under the water. People naturally avoid things that make them uncomfortable even subconsciously.

    2. Mental Health. I suffer from this occasionally. I love showering, it’s extremely relaxing, but for whatever reason the process of getting into the shower is such a huge barrier to overcome. You feel like absolute dog shit. You know that a shower would make you feel better, but for whoever reason no matter how hard you try, you cannot push through the transition of wanting to shower, to taking that first step towards doing it. And it all compounds together to make you feel like an even bigger piece of shit for not being able to do something so basic. Until eventually you’ve doom scrolled the entire day away and now it’s dark out and you’re tired and you’ve got a stress headache because you’ve barely even ate today either while you just stewed in your own filth.