I have learned to circumvent this issue by simply never being important enough to be invited to formal events.

It’s worked well thus far, though nobody seems to notice.

Damn. I always felt bad enough for women with big boobs having to deal with the back pain, but I never considered that they might jingle, too.

Probably a bug I was saving for dinner? I don’t anticipate I’ll have a whole lot to bring with me at that point.

I always wondered if Satan was actually defeated by this, or if he spent the whole ordeal just thinking, “Oh, whoa, he actually took the bait. Holy shit, he’s actually doing it. This is hilarious. I can’t believe it was this easy. Unreal.”