That sounds painful. Absolutely no shade to the lovely older person I overheard today say: “so how do you get the little folks on the screen to know what buttons I pressed?”
But I’m guessing it could be similar to music copywrite law where jurors don’t have to understand audio engineering to know two samples sound the same.
Lol it was cocaine and he got a visit from the fbi from what I heard but not much more than that. Rich kid of course.
Idk about your pile, but mine is precariously balanced on top of a chair so it’s O(1) until a literal tipping point when everything falls and then it’s O(k*n) where k is the time it takes me to put away a piece of clothing in the closet/laundry (or start a new pile elsewhere).
I knew a kid in college who got drugs delivered straight to the dorm mailroom, so people can really be surprisingly brazen…
That’s the most well written account of something similar I experienced, but not to that extent.
You start out doing something because you enjoy it, then you hyperfocus because your brain is built in that way, then the praise and accolades start pouring in (for me it was academic success and getting into MIT), then it becomes your identity and you/others (mainly yourself as he pointed out) start expecting that level of output from you, you try to maintain it to unhealthy levels because your brain was built without the normal guardrails to keep itself safe, and in one way or another you just break.
For me, as my body was breaking down from stress and sleep deprivation in my 20s, I went to doctor after doctor who diagnosed me with one rare incurable diagnosis after another. A lot of young women may relate with the progression: POTS, then EDS, maybe autoimmune diseases or CFS, likely MCAS and gastroparesis, then sleep apnea and narcolepsy, also migraines with severe aura symptoms towards the end. I believed I did have a rare disease because I had Bells Palsy at 15 (from school stress!) and I still have lingering effects from that ever since.
It actually mainly ended up being sleep apnea, but to his point, an earlier diagnosis and treatment would’ve been great, but it wouldn’t have solved my lack of boundaries and identity outside of “MIT grad” either. My breaking point was being so sleep deprived I literally stopped having thoughts and desires. I just…stopped showing up for work because all my brain wanted was sleep at every moment and couldn’t conceptualize any other thought. I’m past that now thankfully, and I’m grateful for the things that part of my life brought me, but yeah, being that “smart and accomplished” has a very dark side. Especially if you don’t come from a privileged background.
This feels like the poison scene from the princess bride, so I’ll approach it with that level of intellectual derangement.
Which means the obvious first step is to recognize that the house is a cheater who wants you to stay poor so your choice doesn’t matter. There is poison in both cups and I will lose either way. Money no longer influences my decision.
Next, I flip a coin ten times and note my reaction to the choices. That’s my gut instinct and obviously what the model predicted unless it’s either not smart enough to know my gut or smart enough to predict my double bluff, therefore useless.
Next, I decide which variables are most likely to influence the prediction (gender, age, education level, big 5 personality score) and realize this is the adult marshmallow test. I obviously think I’m smart and want the model to know that, so it obviously predicted that I would take one box because I’m a good little goodie two shoes who delays instant gratification for the potential bigger payoff. Therefore I choose two boxes because the model would never expect someone as smart as I to make such a dumb greedy move. Surely, I have outsmarted the supercomputer with my quadruple bluff and have won.
And then I remember I am dumb and the model knows that, because in my excitement, I forgot that the house is a cheater who always wins (and there was likely never any money in the mystery box because researchers never get that kind of funding). I am forced to believe that the model accurately perceived me to be a greedy idiot who took two boxes against my better judgement, shattering my ego.
But hey, I at least got $1k out of it.
Maybe the interests we serve are the friends we made serving another’s interests along the way…to serve interests? Or something like that
Damn that’s almost more paperwork than getting a clearance.