I’ve had enough.

I don’t want to do this anymore.

But I’m trapped and everyday is another day where I drag myself through the never ending torture of a job I no longer have any passion for. This is where I’m at:

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The Company.

I own a construction business specializing in waterproofing that I’ve successfully run for 3 years. I bought the business and the commercial property off the previous owner whom I worked well with for 10 years as the quantity surveyor / project manager. It was an amazing deal - I basically bought the assets (350k) + property (1,05m) and got the business for free. The total value of the deal was 1.4 million which financed via a bank mortgage, secured against the commercial property itself and our home. The main reason for the purchase was to secure a future and be my own boss.

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At the end of this year I would have paid back 400k to the bank on the expiry of those loan facilities. I hate debt and wanted to pay off as quickly as possible at the interest rates we secured. ( between 2.5 & 2.99% across 4 separate loans) The remaining 2 facilities are due to roll over at the end of 2025 at god knows what rate.

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The company is lucrative - we turn over an average of 2.7m per year and gross around 33% (900k) profit each year. After expenses and my salary I have discretionary net profit remaining in the region of 200k.

Froward work also looks good with constant enquiry due to the company branding being well known in our region.

In terms of staff I currently have 18 total including myself. Moral is good.

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The Issues.

1. I don’t actually have enthusiasm for what we do. Despite it being lucrative, I find the waterproofing side of things quite dull. It’s also fraught with risk and liability if you have any issue.
2. The hours are killing me. 7:00am till 5:30pm with an hour travel either side. I’ve been trying to stay healthy and motivated by going to the gym, but that means getting up at 4am and going straight to work. I do that 4 days a week. I don’t see my 2 kids ( 4 & 9 yo boys) until I get home at half 6, by which time i’m brain dead. But i play with them, read them stories, get the eldest to bed at 8:30pm. I then get half an hour to myself before I fall asleep. Saturday is spent either catching up on work or sorting something out in the house. Sunday is spent getting organized for the week ahead. Repeat.
3. Lack of skill. When I took over I knew I would have 1 major weakness - my practical knowledge of using the products and working on the tools, or lack thereof. My staff know this, and I don’t try and pretend to look like i know. I’m honest about my limitations and instead tried to surround myself with people that do know these skills. I’ve been lucky in that I had a good relationship with a couple of senior contract supervisors who came up through the ranks on the tools. They were very hands on and practical which is exactly what the site staff need. This allowed me to focus on my strengths of the overall running / pricing / administration of the jobs we do. Unfortunately both these guys are older ( early 60’s ) and I realised that I had to get some form of succession plan of new staff to take over from them. However because of the niche area we operate this has been nothing short of absolute failure. It’s been stressing me to no end and now one of those supervisors has had to hand in his notice due to health issues. So 2 people are doing the work of 3.
4. I’m sick of dealing with staff issues, client issues and site issues. Everyday is just more issues wasting more time and puts me further behind my set plans. I don’t really feel like i have time to actually run the business… everything is reactive at the moment and it’s leading to mistakes. When I delegate it feels like it creates more issues so I end up trying to do more things myself.

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It’s destroying my health and mental wellbeing. I’ve started drinking way too much to try and switch my head off… but all it’s achieved is sleepless nights, a shit diet, and an unused gym membership.

I hardly get to do anything with my kids which really sucks, but at the same time i’m the sole bread winner.

I don’t know how much success i’d have with selling the business because of the niche we operate, and the lack of management in key positions. So as a worse case I could wind everything up and sell the commercial property + assets, pay off the outstanding debt, and walk away with maybe 300 - 500k? As entitled as it sounds, it doesn’t seem like it’s a lot or worth all the effort. I’d also feel genuine guilt about pulling the rug on our staff… as much as there issues infuriate me, they’re actually a great bunch of people. I’d feel like a villain.

Then there is life after the business. I really don’t know how i’d deal working for someone else again.

At the moment I can’t think. I can’t work. I’ve literally sat at my desk and done nothing for the last 2 days straight ignoring calls and emails. But i feel like I need to be here in person to help the other contracts supervisor who frankly has been amazing. I think he knows i’m at breaking point.

Anyway. that’s me…ready to receive judgement by the internet.