They should’ve printed it on something a little less useful for wiping. In a pinch that notice will do the trick.

As long as you didn’t push it’s fine.

More like:

U.S. Department of the Posterior

Easy solution: just do one of those shits that doesn’t require a wipe.

BYOR

After committing you can only move forward, mostly by waddling while half bent over like some kind of Eldritch Shambler