I’ll have the burger whose contents are stacked too high to eat comfortably and spill out when you try to bite it, please

• Half the staff are wearing wool beanies in dead ass middle of summer

• Sides are a la carte, fries come in a metal cup with newspaper-style wax/parchment paper

• The bottom bun is falls-apart-soggy by halfway through

• Claims to have a huge selection of craft beers…all IPAs, a stout, a sour, and PBR

+ chef wearing black gloves

Worst place I ate brought the raw burger to you next to a boiling hot slab of rock. I was expected to cook my own burger the way I liked it. Well fuck you, I’m paying you to cook my meal. Plus it just seemed disgusting to have raw meat at the table anyway

Copy + paste small business tyrant investment. Like a ghost kitchen. They all just copy each other because it returns a consistent profit.

There is probably some kind if grotesque item in the menu as a “draw”, too. The Tower of Cheese. The Bacon Bun. The [town name] challenge, a dish made of 34 kinds of flesh. Get in here, techbros! Get your grub.

Don’t forget the smugness. These types of places always have such smug staffing, like they think they shit gold or something. It’s like bitch please, you’re demanding someone pay a day’s wage for you to fuck up ground beef. Fuck off out of here with your foofoo bullshit burger.

The only good thing is that most of those places have some sort of black bean or veggie burger.

Funnily enough, I’m Spanish and the meme is somehow also accurate here?

Broke: We can offer you our truffle fucked nothingburger with garlic ass for $20 dollars with every single fry costing a dollar extra
Bespoke: falafel shawarma $3, yoghurt or hummus, boss?

Bar around the corner of my house is like this. I’ve never been because they’re across the street from a hole in the wall Japanese place that is really, really good, so whenever I’m walking out of my house to eat that’s where I go.

A quite big Döner Brand in Germany(Berlin Döner) has shops like this and they aren’t even that bad. They aren’t outstandingly god but also not bad. Its maybe a bit overpriced for 6€(at least in my city it costs 6€).

true, but even mid burgers are a fave from where i’m standing

The most mediocre dining experience (for the money) I’ve ever had was at a restaurant called “Smallwares.” Emphasis on small, it turns out. Case in point, we ordered duck breast, which cost a fair bit. I was picturing at least a fair amount, but it was the smallest smidgen slivered up with a dollop of sauce. It was the same with every dish, high prices for not much food.

Sure there were other places that had worse food. One remote dinner lacked any fresh food, but you can’t really help that when you’re in the middle of nowhere. But never have I felt like I was being fed by Famine from Good Omens.

Holy shit people. You are all incredibly whiny bunch

Maybe I am spoiled by my three good burger places in one kilometre radius from my house one of which declared me persona non grata