People are painful to me. I find their presence painful. I’ve been this way since infancy. I created a suite of methods for keeping them away (methods like “passive-aggressive hostility”). These methods became deep habits. Later in life I hungered for company and couldn’t figure out why I was so bad at it. I just recently realized what’s up (thanks meditation). Do any of you relate?
Get into therapy. The best time to start was years ago. The next best time to start is now.
I had all kinds of anti-social coping mechanisms. Life was challenging in ways that made me an asshole. I’ve been able to unravel it about 97% and have made huge strides in other areas. I didn’t think I’d ever be where I am today. Do yourself a favor and find someone you trust (it might not be the first therapist you consult) and work on yourself.
Best advice from some guy you’ll ever get