It depends entirely on the maturity of the parties involved, it’s not really an “older/younger” thing.

But generally, the less mature you are, the more a relationship is selfish, i.e. you want to be in a relationship for your personal advantage, i.e. “i get sex when I have a girlfriend”. The more mature you get, the more relationships go into the direction of “I want to make the other person happy”. You still get your sex or whatever other advantage of course, but it’s much more fulfilling if you can actually give the other person what they need, and temporarily losing your personal benefit of the relationship doesn’t cause immediate breakups.

They don’t really. They are often learned the hard way, because no one attempts to explain them or just acts like they know but doesn’t really.

Semi-unrelated question: I’ve watched Star Trek Voyager with my gf, she doesn’t know any other Trek. I don’t think we want to watch TOS, but will probably continue with TNG and DS9 next.

Do you need to know the TOS characters like Kirk, Spock etc before watching their movies, or are they adequately introduced in the movies so you can watch them as someone completely ignorant?

Wow, why is it so hard for you to say what the problem is? It’s going to be a bit hard to get any advice.

I assume you wanted children but are sterile? You can still adopt. Even if that’s not what you mean, there are always alternatives in some way that let you achieve what you want, maybe not exactly like you imagined it, but a similar thing.

Everyone else already has said the “general” stuff that can be said without getting any more information from you. If you really want help, you should be ready to share some more information and answer questions people have, as well as answer people’s comments with sharing your true thoughts, not holding back like you did in your main post.

In the end, how do you get over this? You understand rationally that you can never plan the future 100%. You understand that once people achieve a goal/plan, they don’t become happy, they just try to achieve a new goal/plan. To become happy, you have to be happy with what you currently have, no matter what that is.

You don’t have to have an identity to live. Identity is irrelevant. It’s a thought-up human concept that in the grand scheme of things has no meaning. What does it matter what your identity was 100 years from now? 1000 years from now? A million years from now?

And once you rationally understand these things, you have to convince your subconscious of them as well, which is much harder and requires lots of practice.

That’s what “keep scrolling” is for, no need to announce it.

Seems like it’s happening to me, too. Don’t know how accurate it is, but I do seem to be craving certain types of food.

Looking at the Steam store page of this game doesn’t make me want to play this at all. This is just a gut reaction and I don’t know why I feel like this, and I don’t want to spend the time to try and figure it out. But there must be something wrong with the game or the presentation of it.

Well yeah, the question is, why didn’t you hear of it. It might certainly be that the game or type of game has something to do with it, not only the marketing. It’s kinda hard to know from the outside.

She won’t let a licensed therapist help her, so no, they also can’t do anything.

You should sell the house first, establish dominance.

(No but seriously, listen to everybody else :)

Usually, unless there’s a specific reason to rewrite a project in another language (like performance, maintainability requirements, skillsets of available developers, dead ecosystem, etc) I wouldn’t do it. Java is perfectly suited for your goal of “least amount of setup required for future contributors” and many contributors will know Java well.

In general, it is much much easier to make existing code readable than to create new code already readable while maintaining the same feature set. So if you have a problem with FLTK, I would just switch to another GUI library. In the process of changing your code, you’ll actually start to understand how to separate layers of concern. Because theoretically, if your code were set up properly, it should be relatively easy to replace GUI libraries. It is likely not set up properly with lots of interdependency between UI concerns and application logic.

Netbeans is also a pretty terrible IDE imo. With an open source project, you can apply for the open source license of intelliJ, which is the gold standard.

That being said. If you really don’t want to use Java anymore just to learn something new, I would suggest a JVM language that can even use Java dependencies, like Kotlin or Clojure. Especially Clojure will teach you a lot of new things that will make you more productive as a programmer. However, every language will come with tooling-related quirks, it will be impossible for you to find a language that doesn’t have any problems at all like you describe. Why do you think there are so many languages in the first place? Because people didn’t like something about the other ones, often also tooling related.

Because it sounds conceptually nice to good people, but selfish people know that without proper transparency and checks, it’s very easy to consolidate power with it.

So the bad people get the support of good people and then exploit that flaw to do what they want instead of what is good.

Sorry, no, I always feel pretty much as attractive as I am.

Which is extremely attractive to some people, and average or below average to most other people.

It completely depends on other people for me. I’m not attracted to myself, so my sense of attractiveness also does not come from me.

Which means I do actually “feel” differently attractive. Is this maybe what you’re talking about?

Because there are very worthwhile texts to read that improve ones knowledge about oneself and humanity and the universe, which in turn allows oneself to make better decisions and have a better mindset.

Reading fiction still helps a little with that, but is mostly “just” entertainment, which of course is also worthwhile.

Using kde-connect for that, works really nicely cross platform.

Also inb4 “Discord community server - no thanks” :D

Yeah man these people saying “definitely no interest” are wrong. It seems like interest, but it’s certainly possible that there’s none.

I got some very simple advice: just ask her out. It might not be the “perfect” advice, because some women don’t like to be asked out directly, liking keeping it ambiguous or whatever, but I personally would be annoyed by that. If the other person disagrees to a simple dinner or walk on the park or whatever, then obviously the interest is not large enough or there are some other issues I wouldn’t like to deal with.

But what is merit exactly? Who decides the criteria we use to measure it?

I love Clojure+Clojurescript

I mean the real reason is, because no one cared enough to implement it. Probably because there are enough third party sites to host stuff and you can just link them.

They dropped a Y :(