Rose Thorne(She/Her)

How does one register a complaint about their octopi pilot?

Mines pretty shit at it.

I have no justification.

I was just an Egg.

I know this is just a “grass is always greener” because I am horridly burned out at my current gig and it’s only getting worse, but damn, I’m really sitting here on my lunch break going “Yeah, gathering fish jizz sounds a whole lot better than going back into this hellhole”.

On the other hand, you probably need some marine life education to become the cuddlefish jizzmopper that I certainly lack.

Yeah, sadly, it seems no matter how ample the parking, people will still just take a pump.

I kinda get it, but at this point, we should all know better. Leave one person behind to pump and park, you’re going to be in the building for awhile just trying to get snacks and get checked out. I’ve never seen our local less than packed inside.

Let’s take inspiration from the glory days of piracy and Boondock Saints. Strap guns across every square inch of your body you can, and then line the trenchcoat.

Have you been to a Buc-Ees?

Hundreds of pumps. It’s a goddamned ocean of concrete and steel. You can use the main building as a shelter for a mid-sized town and have enough bathrooms. It’s a fucking department store serving as a gas station.

They’re goddamned massive.

581 miles? You can still see a Buc-Ees in the rearview at that distance.

Marital rape.

Oh, wait, so much of it already is “I was raised to perform my womanly duties, no matter my feelings”.

Sorry, this is a personal sore point, not trying to go off on you.

Oh, but it isn’t a fetish! It’s the command of God! They have to push out as many children as possible, because the Creator wishes for us to cover every inch of this planet, and they need a holy army to fight the demons Satan sends against us! And the women need to be pretty and subservient because Gods a man and He loves the good, pretty ladies.

(I have heard this bullshit so many fucking times, with so many reasons why this is their gods plan.)

Pineapples were also a sign of wealth.

There was a time when people would rent a pineapple to just sit on the table at a party.

Oh, Class of Vertically Challenged Practitioners! My favorite!

I feel like that’s the calling card of every David Cage game.

“This chunk is actually pretty good, but everything after this? A flaming boulder rolling towards an orphanage”.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R fans are a strange breed. You either bull through it and walk away with a “Okay time, never going to boot it up again”, or you’re 2 hours deep and already halfway through the bottle of vodka, chewing on hard bread, and singing along with the NPCs.

We live and die by the Zone.

With survival/crafting, I tend to lump them in with tension-builders. Even in the calm ones, it’s that extra bit of time, that little effort that only takes seconds but builds up into your whole day. It fits the experience, you’re facing time as much as your own needs and desires.

Whoever decided that “hold to interact” was to be the new default needs shot.

It works when building tension, or even for showing a character putting effort into an action, but when I need to hold a fucking button for 5 seconds just to have random junk magically teleported into my pockets, it kills my want to interact with the world.

Fuck you, David Cage. I don’t think you’re the progenitor, but you certainly abuse the shit out of it as a mechanic, and your reign of terror shoulda ended with Indigo Prophecy.

"The year is 3964. Todd Howard rules from his silicon throne, having gained immortality in the Great Megasoft War. The entirety of the contiguous United States have become a singular corpo-state with a united focus, and the time has come.

Elder Scrolls VIII: Oblivion Crisis in Skyrim releases."

And all contained in the palm of your hand.

So much swapping back to that damned flashlight, I will never understand that decision. It didn’t build tension, it just made me get really good at beating things to death so I didn’t have to keep switching out.

It tastes nothing like Chex Mix. Trust me. More like salt with maybe a little dirt mixed in. You can get food-grade D.E.

It’s also a natural flea treatment if you can’t use chemical treatment for whatever reason. Does the same thing as to the snails. Shreds the exoskeleton and dries them out

You can also use Diatomaceous Earth. Same concept, it’s extremely sharp and jagged little flakes that shred through them. It also dries them out at the same time.

I prefer “have a week” because that’s the minimum amount of time I want away from them.