I mean just look how many nicknames the guy has already. The Passing Paisano, TD, Tommy Two Dimes, Touchdown Tommy, Tommy Cutlets, The Big Gabagool. Heck I might even be missing a few. The guy is loved by his teammates and the fans. Bro has the Jersey rizz. There’s something about getting teammates to give their best. Jones is fine but he puts people to sleep. There’s nothing special about him.

Going to DJais in my car! B-E-L-M-A-R

Devito is infinitely more fun and like-able than DJ. Not that DJ is a bad guy by any stretch of the imagination. He’s just kind of boring. He’s Eli 2.0 but worse at football and not as endearing. That said Devito beat the Commies. DJ lost to the cowboys, Fins, 49ers, not exactly comparable teams. Anyway I’m a DeVito guy. Go Tommy Touchdowns!

Tell me your last name doesn’t end in a vowel, without telling me your last name doesn’t end with a vowel.

Touchdown Tommy actually has made me feel better. Before he showed up I was definitely at 10 on the pain scale. Now I’m a solid 7. Gabagool!

Now the cowboys backup is just showing off.