Shit my pants because I’m an amateur with zero profession basketball experience. I sit around in my office hoping no one asks me anything and no decisions need to be made.

I hope that I clear at least 2 paychecks before I’m found out. The only time I engage is to awkwardly stan the players during practices, hoping everyone is just reading me as having a stoic confidence instead of a man whos afraid to walk because of how my adult diaper is affecting my stride.