Context, I’m 30 now and i will find women my age and up attractive, but 15 years ago a 35 year old women would never have been attractive to me.
As I’ve aged younger women are less and less attractive (thankfully)
But when I’m 60 will 60 year old women be attractive to me?
As soon as I saw this post I jumped on xkcd. Glad I checked the comments before replying, or I would have made quite the fool of myself.
Alt text:
The full analysis is of course much more complicated, but I can’t stay to talk about it because I have a date.
I feel like there is a window that moves with you as you age. At 47 I find women attractive up to their early 50s, and down into their 30s.
I mean dating attractive here. I’m not going to try and claim that a hot twenty something on the telly does nothing for me
I’m 55 I find young women very attractive but I wouldn’t have sex with them. Sex changes as you get older. It slows down and it’s more psychological than physical.
Then again, I would not kick out 20 something yo out of my bed if she was already there…
Good thing that won’t be an issue.
Lemmy user learns of hypotheticals
Do you know what jokes and twenty year old pussy has in common?
You’ll never get them.
My wife is in her 20s. Should be enough of a setup for a real boomer ass joke there.
It seems to me you’re just confirming you’re not getting 20 year old pussy.
I absolutely would, or my wife would be very annoyed with me.
Also I’d have a stern talk with said 20- something as (s)he’d have no business in my bed in the first place.
I was starting to question myself here lol everyone acting like a hot 20 year old is no longer hot when you’re older meanwhile I see someone I consider attractive they’re always attractive, I just won’t approach them if they’re young.
The only way this doesn’t work is “upward” for me. 40s weren’t attractive when I was younger but they are now, but a hot 20 year old will always be hot to me (I think).
@TIN this is what I think happens too.
One of the men I’ve most respected and most trusted in my life told me once (at the time a teenager) that when he was in his 20s, women in their 20s were so hot and seeing a barely clothed young woman was so hot. But he said that now that he was in his 40s, women in his 40s were so hot and whenever he looked at a woman in her 20s all he could think of was that she could be his daughter and that he just felt protective and there was nothing hot or attractive about her.
I’m a woman, but when I was in my teens and early 20s guys in their teens and early 20s seemed so attractive and anyone older was not it. Now that I’m in my early 30s I’m so attracted to men in their 30s and I look at teens and guys in their early 20s and they just seem like babies to me. I actually deal with a lot of young guys with my work and they’re all cool people and I love talking to them, but dating them? Ugh, no thank you. They were in elementary school (or younger) when I was graduating high school. So yeah, I think for a lot of people your goalposts move as you move, and that’s not a bad thing. I also am curious as to whether I’ll someday find 60 or 70 year old men hot, but I’ve got a long ways to go.
That’s what I hear happens. I’m sure the effect must stop working at some point, but so far I’m cruising.
Yeah i appreciate that women my age stay attractive.
I wonder what is the driving factor though.
Familiarity with the look, perhaps.
I think it’s rather similar level of maturity and points of interest. Like I may find college students physically attractive, but there’s quite a maturity gap between students and people who have been working full time for a couple of years that can be off-putting to me.
Self-conditioning.
You like people you can have a meaningful interactions with, you are more likely to find sexual partners in that group, you fantasize about current or prospective partners, you end up building an attractiveness pattern that matches a certain age group.
Got to be an interaction with our wiring and social constructs. We’re mainly wired to get along with our tribe, after all. Makes sense for sexual preferences to naturally hew to social mores.
“That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.”
I’m a lady, not a man. But yes as I have gotten older, my taste has too, I don’t know if that goes on forever but mid-50s and (sorry) 30 year old guys look like people who would be dating my kids, they look like kids to me.
Certainly not MOST 50-60 year old guys look good to me but the ones who do, they sure do. Take care of your body, don’t get fat, do some exercise. You can look good at 30 without care but not 50, not 60.
As the people we relate to change, so too do the things we find attractive in people. This will be a constantly changing thing
Being in my 40s, I am relieved to say that I keep finding women attractive that are my age, and I look at people in their 20s as, well, kids. Even in my porn, I keep looking for women more my age.
That’s true physically, but also emotionally. There is a humbling nearly all decent people seem to go through in their late 20s to 30s that at this point is a necessary point of bonding for me.
So far what I learned, is that many factors play into attraction. Looks are one. A big factor for me is also seeing someone as an equal. Fuck dates are fine with much younger or older ones but dating and a relationship, nop. I want to take the other one serious, I want to be in about the same stage of life experience, to have similar goals and similar pop culture references (tv shows, music, games that we played as kids). Seeing someone as an equal comes with similar age for me.
Similar cultural references criteria would prevent dating someone who grew up in a different culture.
All I know is that everybody says retirement homes are full of horny old people fucking all the time so maybe? Either that or old people just don’t care as much about attraction and are just happy all the parts still work
My guess is as an adult you’ll always be attracted to women around the 25-35 range most but maybe once you get old you’ll also find some stuff to appreciate in grannies
They are. I used to work at one and it was not an unusual experience to walk in on residents giving head to each other or fucking.
I wonder if it’s still as enjoyable or exciting as when they were younger.
There isn’t a limit, your tastes on what you consider “attractive” will change over time. When one is young one only thinks on reproduction, and the older one gets, the more prevalent just having someone who you enjoy keeping you company.
When one is young one only thinks on reproduction
Depending on your definition of “young”, what it actually is is that young people mainly think of fucking.
Which looking at it on a purely biological lens is to satiate a need to procreate.
Speaking in terms of ultimate (evolutionary) causes, obviously, but on a proximate level of, for example, what the people in question actually think and feel, as well as the practical outcome given the accessibility of effective contraceptives, it has nearly nothing to do with reproduction.
just turned 40, i can def tell when someone in their 20s is hot, but I’d be really unlikely to date them. But, for example, meeting some rando at a bar and hooking up is different, as long as everyone is on board with the situation and consents. I’ve started finding older women attractive more than I would have when I was younger, it’s just hard to meet people at this age and covid wasted my late 30s doing nothing
When I was 15 I was really concerned that I’d always be attracted to 14 year old girls. I’m in my 40s now and 30 year olds look like babies to me.
I’d imagine you accept what is realistically available to you. You’d not really have anything in common with people outside a certain window so as you age these “older” people are just your peers from a similar vintage so to speak so a lot of things make sense and are common between you and each year they just happen to be a year older…
I’m pretty sure for me it’s just that generational age differences squick me out, so when I was young, guys old enough to be my dad? EEW! But now it’s also guys young enough to be my kids, EEW!
I do also agree about the maturity level, but that’s not enough different between adults, a 35 year old can be about the same mental maturity as a 60 year old, I can talk so easily to my grown kids and their boyfriend/girlfriends/spouses, they are adults. But I literally don’t see people that age as sexy.
Xaviera Hollander said that a man isn’t old until there are no women his own age he finds attractive.
So I was old when I turned 13?
Or gay?
[jk]
It could be two things
I like that
god i wish most men were like this. but there’s 50 yr old men out there dating women fresh out of highschool, yuck
I had the hots for women in their 40s when I was a teenager ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
most hopefully they weren’t irresponsible enough to date a teen, that’d be just as yuck no matter the gender
Oh I was far too awkward to get involved in anything like that, along with its inappropriateness.
OMG. Yuck? as in… disgusting? like sushi?
I understand where you’re coming from, but you’re expressing your taste and values in a very dismissive way
i dont get how calling someone that age dating a teen ‘yuck’ is dismissive lol
They’re both consenting adults, and it’s just sex.
It’s yuck in the same way a teen might say old people (30+ yos) having sex are yuck.
But there’s nothing inherently wrong about it, your views are just judgemental. May also just be a cultural thing to be fair, or as societies attitude towards sex become more open, older views may still just be very conservative.
That’s not what you said, you don’t get to lecture me by pretending you said something else.
Anything illegal deserves more yuck than I can count, but expressing your personal taste towards things that are legal and socially accepted (while frown upon) by dismissing a behaviour that you personslly disagree with is… dismissive.
huh? it is literally exactly for word what i said, so what are you talking about??
“most hopefully they weren’t irresponsible enough to date a teen, that’d be just as yuck no matter the gender”
also, how am i lecturing you?? i dont even know you or anything about you. you replied to me calling my opinion dismissive and i disagreed, point out the lecturing. and anyway, why is there an issue with how i choose to express my opinion on something controversial, or anything in that matter? you find it dismissive that i think middle aged people dating legal teenagers is gross, okay, why should i care that how i expressed it is apparently dismissive??
OP doesn’t mention their gender.
true, i made an assumption. either way, its yuck to date someone fresh out of HS if you’re 10, 20, 30, 40+ years older. imo there’s no reality where an 18 year old should be dating a 30 year old, even though it is legal
I think that if people are of an age where they can legally and ethically consent, and if there isn’t any kind of abuse of power going on, it’s none of my damn business. Maybe people should just fuck off with pushing their ideas about morality on other people.
im not pushing anything on anyone?? this is my opinion and i am allowed to have it, i’m not making any laws. i also agree with the other commenter that there’s no way a relationship between a 30 year old and an 18 year old doesn’t have an unbalanced maturity and power level dynamic. this is my opinion.
Some people are of the opinion that it’s gross and immoral for two men to be romantically or sexually involved.
Some people think that anyone that doesn’t identify with the gender they were born with is mentally ill and should be committed until they’ve come to their senses.
It’s just, like, their opinion, man. Them expressing their opinion frequently, any time they see someone that might be gay or transgender isn’t pushing their opinion, they’re just expressing a belief.
I don’t think you can date an 18 year old as a 30 year old without an automatic abuse of power. Even so, what does that say as the (middle aged) adult?
Take that to the logical conclusion, and no one can date anyone else because there’s always some power imbalance. Oh, you’re on track to graduate with a BS in 4 years? Sorry, it’s unethical to date someone that’s changed their major twice.
Given that I work and my wife does not, oh no!, I have too much power in the relationship because I’m the only one bringing in money!, so she can never consent to anything! Which kinda eliminates her autonomy.
By abuse of power, I mean someone that has a degree of power or authority over another person, such as a supervisor at work, a professor with one of their students, a cop (seriously, no one should ever date a cop, hard stop), a mentor and an intern, and so on. A 30yo that goes to the same gym as a 18yo has no power over that 18yo, and no direct way to coerce them into a relationship.
Wait, 30 is middle aged??
Nah gotta be between 500 and 1500 for middle age
Sure feels like it. I am so tired and my back hurts.
LOL
That’s completely absurd. Age =/= Power :-D
Young women are free to date whoever they want. That is a great thing. Bodily autonomy. It’s something to celebrate.
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