• MuhammadJesusGaySex@lemmy.world
    36·
    11 months ago

    I went from heroin to methadone, and methadone to nothing. It fucking SUCKS. I hate being around people. I used to be quite the social butterfly. I have hacked away at the people I let into my life down to one friend. I hate people so much that it’s hard to put up with my partner and kids. Loud noises make me irrationally angry. I don’t leave the house unless I HAVE to. Since I got sober I have dreams where I talk to my friends that died from overdoses.

    I had a dream where a woman I knew that died of an overdose came to visit me. She sat on the sofa next to me and put her head on my shoulder. When I woke up I could still feel her hair on my face.

    I hate being sober. I wish that weed didn’t make me anxious. I wish alcohol didn’t make me feel like shit. I didn’t like uppers before I got sober. Opiates aren’t even an option.

    But you know what? As much as being sober fucking sucks, and it does suck make no mistake about it. I won’t die a slave. I am free. I am finally free, and I’m not giving my freedom away again for anyone or anything. I’ve been heroin free for about 5 years. I’m almost 2 years completely sober.

    • Akasazh@feddit.nl
      11·
      11 months ago

      Good on you. I’m just small league clean of cigarettes for a year now. It’s good to be not dependent.

      Keep it up!

      • MuhammadJesusGaySex@lemmy.world
        11·
        11 months ago

        Hey, quitting cigarettes is no small feat. There are enough things holding us back in life without adding to it. Quitting cigarettes is one choice I guarantee you won’t regret.

        Also, don’t sell yourself short. You say “little league clean”, but the process is the same. Be proud of your wins. There will be enough problems in life. Take those wins where you can.

        • Akasazh@feddit.nl
          4·
          11 months ago

          I’m very proud, and part of the belittlement in my comment is not that I’m not proud of it, but I think I may have used it that way to show my respect for your archievement.

          So that’s what I’m actually saying, I’m a bit more proud of you kicking your bad habits than my own, so well done on that.

          I hope the bleak aspect on life and other people may change a bit to the positive this year. In fact, that is my Christmas wish for you (even though I detest Christmas in all it’s commercial shallowness)

          • MuhammadJesusGaySex@lemmy.world
            5·
            11 months ago

            Oh I knew all that. I just wanted to let you know that I also respect your struggle, and that all struggles are worth it in the end.

            Thank you for the kind words though. As a grown man praise doesn’t come very often.

  • Paradachshund@lemmy.today
    252·
    11 months ago

    To anyone going through this, it gets better. The first year is really tough, and maybe longer, but eventually you’ll learn how to feel relaxed without it if you can stay off it long enough.

    • Mobilityfuture@lemmy.world
      8·
      11 months ago

      You have to fill the gap with something else enjoyable/stimulating.

      Also, often people find they enjoy some of the activities they would be doing all along without the drugs,

      ie. Hanging out with friends, lying have passed out on a couch watching TV / playing video games / staring at the ceiling listening to music, sex, bumming cigarettes, hustling for money, going to dangerous places / doing dangerous things, committing small time crimes, alienating family, ect…

      You can enjoy all these things while sober… no need to be boring ;-)

  • Wolf_359@lemmy.world
    221·
    11 months ago

    Joking aside, getting sober sucks, but being sober is amazing.

    It took me multiple tries and a lot of misery but I have over 6 years clean now and my life is immensely fulfilling and better than I thought it could be.

    Anyone with a heroin/opiate addiction should check out the new injection Suboxone they have. Essentially a cure once you’re ready to make the switch for good! And I was able to get off the shot with essentially no withdrawal at all - unlike the strips. Just saying, it saved my life!

    • remotelove@lemmy.ca
      31·
      11 months ago

      Well … yeah. It can be reality in a lot of cases.

      I am not knocking you or anything, and I don’t like getting serious in a meme community, but anyone that has worked through an addiction knows what is going on here. My life was absolute hell for at least 6 months or so after I quit drinking. It took a year after that to just get my ass back in gear. (I don’t count days, so I really don’t know how long I haven’t been drinking, TBH.)

      So yeah. It’s shitty. However, it’s a dark truth with some dark humor. I get it.

      Edit: I just remembered the reason why I don’t count sobriety days: It keeps me firmly planted in the here and now. For me, all I can do is not drink today and that is all that really matters. Many people may disagree with my methodology, but it’s my own way to cope and it has been working so far.

      • glimse@lemmy.world
        143·
        11 months ago

        I just feel like it’s more anti-sobriety than dark humor. I don’t know anyone who regrets getting sober

        • remotelove@lemmy.ca
          10·
          11 months ago

          Think of it as truth in its purest form. I absolutely do not regret getting sober but it took a while to get to that point. For anyone else trying to sober up, the sooner the hard realities of life are accepted, the easier it is to move forward.

          I am not sure if you get the underlying joke of the meme, but I’ll explain it for anyone that wants to know.

          A common saying in AA (and NA) is that alcoholics have one foot in the future, one foot in the past and are never in the now. According to AA lore, that is one of the primary drivers of the insanity that is alcoholism.

          That has a few heavily nested meanings but the one that applies here is that past events, or worrying about the future is the reason we constantly try to escape the anxiety of dealing with those issues now with various chemicals. Once the drugs and alcohol are removed as a crutch, that makes the current moment one of the most difficult and terrifying things to face.

          The reality of now is something that recovering alcoholics and addicts must face, one way or another. As life moves forward, recovery gets easier and problems becoming less difficult. With practice, those past problems will almost seem insignificant.

          So, the “dark humor” aspect of this is that the issues we thought were huge and potentially life ending are usually not as dire as we thought to begin with. (I am excluding issues that could potentially be life ending, of course.) Most people in recovery can relate to this meme and probably chuckle a little when thinking back on it. ie: “I used to be worried about that trivial shit? Lol!”

          After all that is said, it’s a reminder of an accomplishment. It’s also relating to what many people are going through and reminding them that they are not alone. Yes, it can be negative. However, it’s not as anti-sobriety as it seems on the surface.

          (There are a million-and-one caveats to what I am saying! This meme can mean many different things to many different people.)

      • SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml
        7·
        11 months ago

        Yeah, cut meth coke and crack in one fell swoop. I’d say 3 weeks of pure agony, and 7 months of picking up the pieces of my life, another 3 years gluing them all together again.

        • remotelove@lemmy.ca
          5·
          11 months ago

          You are here now, so that is awesome!

          That first week though… I don’t remember much of it. Granted, there are huge differences between alcohol and amphetamine withdrawals, but I get it. Thankfully, I didn’t need to check myself into detox this time around and was able to ride it out. I just know that I won’t be that lucky next time as my addiction got progressively worse after every quit attempt over the years.

          • SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml
            2·
            11 months ago

            I’d say alcohol is actually harder. Same with cigarettes. I kicked meth coke/crack and heroine, still smoking cigarettes. Because it’s still so socially acceptable to smoke and drink, it’s a lot harder to cut out of your life. For me, when I decided that enough was enough, I deleted all my contacts and got a different phone number. Can’t exactly do that for the liquor store down the block, or get every smoker in the city to give you a wide berth.

            We’ve all got our path, and very few people get to traipse through life with no issues to deal with. I’m glad you recognise your pattern, and are trying to change your path. I’m not on here loads, but if you need someone to shoot the shit with or whatever, just shoot me a DM.

      • jawa21@startrek.website
        2·
        11 months ago

        It has been 3 years mostly sober for me. I say mostly because I slip up about twice a year because of how fucking bad it gets between addiction and depression. The six month mark is about when it gets nearly unbearable for me and this damn disease won’t let me stop thinking about it.

      • LilB0kChoy@midwest.social
        1·
        11 months ago

        Does Daniel Craig have a history of substance abuse and getting sober?

        I’m confused because of the picture. Why not use a stock image or, if you want a celebrity, Charlie Sheen comes to mind.

      • tygerprints@kbin.social
        1·
        11 months ago

        I wish you luck with it. I know people that have gone through this and it’s not easy. I think we’re all addicted to something - food, sex, chocolate, TV, the internet, you name it. That’s kind of how our brains are wired up.

        Taking it one day at a time is the only realistic approach, but I hope that you are increasingly successful in getting where you want to be.

  • unreasonabro@lemmy.world
    1·
    11 months ago

    Meanwhile, gay people say the gayest thing you can do is let your sexuality determine how you carry your shopping

    • _number8_@lemmy.world
      181·
      11 months ago

      I mean I don’t see how people who are otherwise healthy and whole need to inebriate themselves to “feel good.”

      addiction

      If they only knew how much worse things could be!

      addiction sucks pretty bad

      Yet I don’t have any desire to enable an addiction syndrome in myself, I can find happiness in just having another day to spend being alive.

      oh good for you

      • tygerprints@kbin.social
        13·
        11 months ago

        Thanks, it IS good for me. I have more money than most wealthy people in my area, so it is a nice feeling to be able to get up and do whatever I feel like every day. Your reactions are not really anything I care very much about.

      • tygerprints@kbin.social
        1·
        11 months ago

        Hedonism is vastly underrated and gets poor press. I say the three most important words in life are, “I’ve got mine.”

      • tygerprints@kbin.social
        11·
        11 months ago

        Here then is the true nature of “Christian” fellowship. Your words say all that needs to be said about how depraved humankind has become. You are a sterling example of maggot-infested dog excrement, which is about what I’d expect from one of your ilk. Happy holidays!