Why don’t we all buy the team? Why not? Everybody send me $20 and I’ll go to Gores with an offer he can’t refuse; a night of free coke.

Guess they’d better drown Bobby Layne’s helmet in alcohol again.

What shoes are (is?) Cade wearing tonight? That sentence doesn’t sound right. Oh well.

They’re abysmal. As a matter of fact, if we lose Monday the NFL has already declared that regardless of anything that’s happened so far, we’re just gonna be given an 0-17 record. Ford Field will be imploded, everyone who works for the franchise will be banished from the country, and all the fans will be rounded up and paraded through the streets and tar and feathered. The franchise will then be forcibly be relocated to Columbus, OH to become an NFL tribute to Ohio State.