I Brazilian portuguese that would be “Caguei” -> I took a shit
There’s also “to pouco me fudendo” -> I’m barely fucking myself
Essa é boa kkkkkk
“My dick hurts” (Bosnian)
There are multiple ways to say “I don’t care” (which is what the expression stated means). You can say “Juckt?” Which is very informal and basically means “is it itching?” Or you could also say “das geht mir am Arsch vorbei” which means something like “its going next to my ass” (I don’t really know how to translate it in a better way, but it means, that said thing is passing your ass)
A few others from french :
J’en parlerai à mon cheval (I’ll make sure to tell my horse)
Parle à mon cul, ma tête est malade (Talk to my ass, my head is sick/ill)
Je m’en tamponne le coquillard (no idea how to translate this, but here is a fun explainer, also in french)Like water on a goose - Swedish
Just thought of one that takes a bit of explanation. In Swedish, much like German, words are joined to create longer words. Such as smörgåsbord(sandwich table). The smurfs in Swedish are therefore called gammelsmurfen (old smurf), "anything"smurfen. Because of this, people jokingly say “intressesmurfen antecknar” ( interest smurf is taking notes) to indicate that they don’t care about what somebody is saying
This may be the least vulgar one yet, lol
Not my circus, not my monkeys. (English)
Like the server said, “Not my table!”
Layeth thine eyes upon my field of fucks and behold that it is barren.
Now that has(eth) style.
My dick hurts (Bosnian, Serbian, Croatian)
Bulgarian as well, but that the dick “doesn’t” hurt is implied. I assume it’s the same for you?
It naps on my dick. (Bulgaria)
It sucks me (as in fellatio) an egg (testicle).
It sucks my dick.
I care a crow’s nest (as in ships)
I care a turd.
I care a shit.
(Spanish again, we are creative people, as someone pointed out, the New World is way more colorful than Spain)
Flowers on my dick and bees all around is so mysterious
It was all the buzz in those days!
Honey, stick around; I’ve got more where those came from.
Buzz off, we don’t need you droning on.
Maybe it’s something more like “I dislike this situation”? Because I’d honestly be freaking out if my dick was covered in flowers and I was surrounded by bees. That’s how you get bees on your dick which seems objectively bad. I would give a fuck.
I interpret it as “I don’t give a fuck about it, and I’m so calm about it that I can literally have flowers on my dick and bees around it and I’ll be safe, I’m a Buddha of fucking calmness about this situation, I’m one with nature and the planet”.
You know, bees attack you only if you do some violent movements. I’m overthinking it, but I agree from the bunch it’s the one that stands out. So poetic.
But bees are typically not aggressive unless you frighten them. It might even tickle a little.
There are more vulgar ones in Spain:
Me la suda (“la” refers to “la polla”): It makes my dick sweat
Me la pela: It peels my dick
Me importa una mierda: That matters a shit to me
Obviously, this last one is closer to “I don’t give a shit,” but it’s essentially the same sentiment.
It cares me dick. (Spanish)
Interestingly also Polish have the same sentence with the same meaning.
“My dick hurts” - various west Balkan languages.
“I shit on it!” (“Szarok rá!”) - in Hungarian.
Besides that just “I don’t care.” (“Nem érdekel.”)
Maybe “Not even the dog cares, who lives in/at the shooting range.” (“Lőtéri kutyát nem érdekli.”) But it’s more like for situations where you want to express, that nobody cares.
