HEARTSTEEL have been making the rounds recently with their marketing and collaborations with popular artists, and the skins themselves have sold quite well. Most people complain about the price-to-quality ratio or clarity with modern skins, but my qualms are different:

The men are too hot.

I genuinely can’t focus on the game when someone picks a HEARTSTEEL skin. I always sense a bit of fear in the back of my mind before queueing up, a sort of Paranoia™, if you will. I decided to go top lane as Aatrox the other day and was ready for a handshake lane where we’d both farm like good top laners for 30 minutes while our team either wins or loses the game. You can imagine my shock when I saw HEARTSTEEL Sett walking towards me, with those big muscles of his. I was caught so off guard that I panicked and ran into the enemy tower, I couldn’t breathe properly and was catching my breath while walking back into lane. After repeating this pattern for 10 or so minutes, my bot lane requested a lane swap and I obliged. I could finally breathe and focus on the game, I thought to myself.

This was a mistake.

When I entered the lane, I was greeted by an Ezreal paired with an Aphelios - both wearing HEARTSTEEL skins. Those two cute boys fighting over farm while poking me sent me into a frenzy - were they perhaps fighting over me and my 0/6 bounty? I couldn’t handle it anymore, and was forced to leave the game after getting 1v2’d and dominated by those two. My unjust ranked ban for “”“griefing”“” aside, is there a way to disable skins so this won’t happen again? Thanks.

  • JakeyoB
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    1 year ago

    This is pretty weird my dude, if it’s a thinly veiled attempt at humour you should know this isn’t funny (sorry?)

  • SpktraB
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    1 year ago

    wait til you see Kayn running at you from the walls, knocking you up, getting deep inside you, then posing before he finishes, all while a voice in his head demands he takes his shirt off

  • yukine95B
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    1 year ago

    I too need that K’Sante in my bedroom for, uhm, research purposes.

  • Js_On_My_YeetB
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    1 year ago

    I guess you can say… they are a HeartSteel… badum tsssss

  • Exfil_lolB
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    1 year ago

    I thought you were talking about the item.

    Which makes most of my games unplayable

  • haven4everB
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    1 year ago

    Papaya_Dreaming caught posting on his alt whilst horny.

  • DieckeB
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    1 year ago

    Looking through the Post and comments makes me hate that i am literate.